Connection between yourself and others is a hard feeling to describe with words, it’s much easier to sense. On a Sunday morning, sharing a coffee with an individual, I couldn’t quite put my finger on why I felt so little connection. I had spent time with this person, said agreeable things to them, never hurt their feelings, shared a sunset with them, yet I could not work out why I felt so distant. She sat there uncomfortably forcing conversation, while I had my first in-my-head moment in a very long time. I felt the distance just getting further and further as silence filled the air.

Auckland is a place I have an undefined presence in. Over the Summer I was immersed in new experiences, new people, and a lot of fun. Amongst the new things I tried, Chess became a quiet addiction. From chess at work, to Chess.com, then to reading chess books, I was obsessed. I struggled to improve initially but as my focus shifted from “move-to-move” to building positions, I pushed 500 rating points in two days! This is a prime example of shifting thinking from the MICRO to the MACRO.

Friendships are becoming increasingly surface level, even more so is a connection with themselves. Social media has made it so we project our identities onto groups, losing individuality. This can be observed through our attachment to certain causes, certain social dynamics, maybe even political movements.

A lot of us strive for goals in a robotic fashion, achieve inputs and receive outcomes. This is simple to understand and logically results in the outcome we want. The inputs we decide are what we see as the quickest actions to receive the desired outcome. We stick to them and prevent any variation in them as logically this would impede progress. But variation is a feature of life, not a bug.